Thursday, December 19, 2013

High School Students Ryan and Jennifer Break-up Official!

MOOSONEE: Think about where you are are this moment, for you will remember it forever. Ryan Polmeto and Jennifer Hutchison, the two grade 10 students from the local high school that have dated for almost a full two months, have broken up. After a heated argument over messages sent to Hutchison’s previous boyfriend, the couple is no more. 
Naturally, such a catastrophe will upset the regularly programmed events at the high school and, as news spreads, quite possibly the entire planet. As you would expect, the couple did not attend classes today and elected to not write their unit test in History due to the tragedy and the painful emotional aftermath. The group English project and the work period provided will have to be delayed in light of this shocking revelation.
They’re pretty shaken about the news, but teachers are being as supportive as they can. “What are you crazy?” responded their History teacher, “No, I’m not doing anything special for them. A couple kids broke up; big deal. They’ll get over it.” 
The former couple’s English teacher remarked, “Unless they get a doctor’s note, which I doubt is possible for heartbreak, they don’t get to rewrite the test. If I skipped every time I was dumped in high school, I never would have graduated!” 
The school community is coming together to support the two students during these challenging times. One grade 11 student, when asked about the couple responded, “They were dating? Oh. Well, I guess that sucks for them.” 
A grade nine student remarked, “Oh, good. My locker is right beside Jenn’s. Her boyfriend was always there. So annoying.” 
The community can further support these two students in their difficult situation by not showing any unnecessary happiness around them, by suggesting to them sad and conflicted pop songs to play on repeat, and not bringing up the fact that less than 1% of high school relationships last. 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

"More Standardized Tests!" Ontario Parents Demand

Dec. 4, 2013

ONTARIO: Tension is rising across Ontario as parents are expressing outrage that their children are not getting the training they need in writing standardised tests that will prepare them for future careers. 

Parents are deeply concerned over the lack of class time dedicated to important areas of learning such as selecting the best multiple choice option, restating the question in your answer, shading in the entire bubble, and writing properly formatted news reports that match the picture provided.

“I’m scared,” said Margaret Taylor, a parent of three children in the public school system. “How can we, as a Canadian society, compete with the world if our students aren’t trained to successfully read over a multiple choice question to make sure their selection is the correct one?” Taylor has written to her school board demanding that an increased amount of attention be given to test prep. 

“There’s a lot at stake here,” Taylor added. “I don’t want my children to enter a career without being ready with hours of experience in shading bubbles under their belt. It really is a shame how we’re dropping the ball on this.” 

Paul Forman, who has a son heading to a college welding program this September, is concerned about his son’s career readiness. “In the past my son hasn’t written a correctly formatted leading paragraph that matched the provided picture in his News Reports. It scares me that he might not be adequately prepared for a career in welding. Shouldn’t more time have been spent on this in the classroom?” 

Some parents have expressed discontentment with any focus on rich learning assignments that foster creativity, collaboration, reflection, and thoughtful engagement with the curriculum content. In a recent letter to the editor, Lisa DiCerbo, mother of a grade 10 student, writes, “This is a disaster! Why are we wasting time on all this mamby schmamby creative stuff that grows their brains, when we should be working on those test-taking muscles!”

“I couldn’t tell you the difference myself, but my son needs to know the difference between the topic and the main idea,” said DiCerbo.

“If my kid knows the answer, but doesn’t quote details from the text to support his answer, how can he ever make a life for himself?” said an anonymous parent. “We need action on this.” 

Parents in multiple cities across Ontario have started to band together to, as they see it, save education. Brandon Swartz, writing in the Facebook group titled, “Standardized Tests Unlock Practical Ideal Development”, writes, “I’m not concerned whether or not my child has a great learning experience at school that helps them be an active member of society with an educated imagination. That’s not what I pay taxes for. I want them to become the best standardized test writers they can be.” 

The Ministry of Education has not yet commented on the increasing number of parents concerned about their children's' futures and are demanding change.

It is estimated that 78% of high schools students do not even use all the space provided in short written questions.


"More Standardized Tests!" Ontario Parents Demand

Dec. 4, 2013

ONTARIO: Tension is rising across Ontario as parents are expressing outrage that their children are not getting the training they need in writing standardised tests that will prepare them for future careers. 

Parents are deeply concerned over the lack of class time dedicated to important areas of learning such as selecting the best multiple choice option, restating the question in your answer, shading in the entire bubble, and writing properly formatted news reports that match the picture provided.

“I’m scared,” said Margaret Taylor, a parent of three children in the public school system. “How can we, as a Canadian society, compete with the world if our students aren’t trained to successfully read over a multiple choice question to make sure their selection is the correct one?” Taylor has written to her school board demanding that an increased amount of attention be given to test prep. 

“There’s a lot at stake here,” Taylor added. “I don’t want my children to enter a career without being ready with hours of experience in shading bubbles under their belt. It really is a shame how we’re dropping the ball on this.” 

Paul Forman, who has a son heading to a college welding program this September, is concerned about his son’s career readiness. “In the past my son hasn’t written a correctly formatted leading paragraph that matched the provided picture in his News Reports. It scares me that he might not be adequately prepared for a career in welding. Shouldn’t more time have been spent on this in the classroom?” 

Some parents have expressed discontentment with any focus on rich learning assignments that foster creativity, reflection, and thoughtful engagement with the curriculum content. In a recent letter to the editor, Lisa DiCerbo, mother of a grade 10 student, writes, “This is a disaster! Why are we wasting time on all this mamby schmamby creative stuff that grows their brains, when we should be working on those test-taking muscles!”

“I couldn’t tell you the difference myself, but my son needs to know the difference between the topic and the main idea,” said DiCerbo.

“If my kid knows the answer, but doesn’t quote details from the text to support his answer, how can he ever make a life for himself?” said an anonymous parent. “We need action on this.” 

Parents in multiple cities across Ontario have started to band together to, as they see it, save education. Brandon Swartz, writing in the Facebook group titled, “Standardized Tests Unlock Practical Ideal Development”, writes, “I’m not concerned whether or not my child has a great learning experience at school that helps them be an active member of society with an educated imagination. That’s not what I pay taxes for. I want them to become the best standardized test writers they can be.” 

The Ministry of Education has not yet commented on the increasing number of parents concerned about their children's' futures and are demanding change.

It is estimated that 78% of high schools students do not even use all the space provided in short written questions.


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Grade 12 Student Makes Astonishing Discovery: ‘High School’ is Two Words

MOOSONEE: A grade 12 student in Moosonee Ontario couldn’t believe his eyes as he was entering the high school this morning. Feeling a bit nostalgic about his time in school so far, he looked up at the front sign as he approached the building.

The student was stunned. “I was like, ‘What the heck?’ I thought someone was messing with me! Or at least it was a typo or something.” It was at that point the student made an observation that was 12 years in the making. “Right there on the sign, ‘High school’ was broken up into two words, ‘high’ and ‘school.’ Blew me away.”

“I’ve always spelled high school as one word, always.”

After entering the building the student looked around at other appearances of the term ‘high school’ in signage which confirmed the two separate words.

“I mean like, seriously! How do I get to grade 12 without knowing how to spell ‘high school’? Was this a recent change that I wasn’t made aware of?” asked the student.

The student said he used to think the automatic spell check on his cell phone was “stupid” because it kept wanting to change highschool to high school. “I used to think, ‘What kind of a smartphone doesn’t know the word highschool’”?

We pointed out the spelling to a grade 11 student passing by, “No way! That’s trippy man. I had no idea.”

English teachers at the high school declined to comment.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Local Student Makes Brazen Attempt to Creep Teacher on Facebook


 MOOSONEE: A student at the local high school in Moosonee made a bold attempt to locate her teacher on Facebook yesterday in an effort to discover personal details about the staff member. Sitting at her home computer after school, the grade 11 student typed in the name of her teacher in Facebook’s search field hoping for a social-taboo jackpot. 

“I thought that I’d find crazy pictures and selfies of her doing all sorts of weird stuff,” the student told High School Breaking News, “but there were over 200 people with the same or similar name. I started browsing through the pictures, but there were so many.”

After an arduous attempt to locate her teacher in the list, the determined student made an on-the-spot decision on how to continue with her dangerous crossing of social boundaries. “I got bored of looking, so I decided I’d try again later,” the grade 11 student explained. “I mean, I don’t really care that much.” 

Though it is impossible to collect accurate data on this disturbing trend in education, many estimate that “teacher creeping” is on the rise. 

When told about the startling revelation about the student’s actions, Ms. Maria Gould, the grade 11 student’s teacher, had these remarks: “Oh, well yeah. That’s bound to happen I guess. No biggie. I don’t even have Facebook. Excuse me, though. I really need to go photocopy some stuff.” 

So far, no disciplinary action has been taken against the grade 11 student who also admitted to Googling the teacher as well, but got distracted by an advertisement for “Candy Crush.”

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Area Student Shocked at Grade Given for Assignment Cut and Pasted from Wikipedia

MOOSONEE: Becky Peraino, a grade 9 student at the local high school was shocked at the failing mark she was given for what she thought was clearly a quality research report written by a Wikipedia author. Peraino believes she did very well in the historic Canadian battle research assignment and that the teacher should reconsider the grade.

“It’s not fair!” said Peraino, “There’s a whole bunch of other students handing in really crappy research assignments that they wrote themselves and they get a better mark!”

Peraino argues that her assignment contained no spelling errors, used a high level of language, contained in-text citations to credible sources, and was written in clear, concise language. “What more could [the teacher] want?” she said.

The grade nine student also stated that she read “almost” the entire article she submitted and even glanced at a few others before making her final selection of the Wikipedia article.

“I did extra work too,” Peraino insisted. “When you cut and paste, sometimes the formatting doesn’t come out right. So I had to edit and move some text around. That’s extra work. I should even be getting bonus marks.”

Peraino’s History teacher was not receptive of the student’s arguments. “Students have to do their own work in order to pass,” stated Ms. Netherington.

Peraino isn’t sure what steps to take next in order to elevate her complaint. “I thought about writing a letter of complaint to the school board, but I couldn’t find a good one on the internet.”

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Local Teacher Accused of Copyright Violation in Powerpoint Presentation

MOOSONEE: A local grade 11 student accused her teacher of blatant copyright violation last Thursday. The alleged stolen digital property was an image in a Powerpoint presentation used in a science class. After analyzing the photo of a microscope used to decorate one of the slides, Maria Kearns was able to determine the photo’s origins.

“There was a giant watermark right across the middle of the picture!” Maria told HSBN. “It said ‘iStockPhoto’ right across the centre of it!” Online photo services, as Maria went on to explain, place watermarks across preview images to indicate illegitimate usage.

“He stole it; he totally stole it - ripped them right off!” remarked Maria. “They go on and on about not plagiarizing and copying other people’s stuff. Well, what the heck is this?"

Some inside sources indicate that this alarming practice is widespread in the school system.

A grade 12 student has a theory as to which teachers are using watermarked images. “I think it mostly comes from the teachers who are newer to technology. They don’t seem to know how to steal the images without the watermarks.”

"They don’t get it," said Maria, shrugging her shoulders. “The watermark is a big sign that shouts ‘Hey everybody, I stole this! At least pick the one without the watermark.”

When asked if they feel that their education is made illegitimate because of such illegal practices, another grade 11 student commented, “Uh… I don’t really care.”

The accused teacher decline to comment.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Students Take Aim at Antiquated Classroom Technology with ‘Mock a Difference’ Campaign

Sept 1, 2013

Students across Ontario are increasing pressure on teachers to upgrade their antiquated teaching habits as the “Mock a Difference” (MaD) movement gains momentum.

Feeling they have waited far too long, Ontario students have begun to take educational technology reform into their own hands. The MaD movement simply exhorts students to hurl light hearted but serious mockery on teachers whenever they use antiquated technology in the classroom.

Students’ irritation and anger about the usage of 19th century classroom technologies has begun to boil over into action. “I mean seriously! In what workplace do people drag a white substance across a black surface in order to write something for a group to see?” said one student shaking his head. “Is this a cave?”

Another student, concerned about the disconnect between education and the workplace said, “Sure, there are still a lot of paper forms in some workplaces around the country, but who writes more than a sentence on paper these days? And lined paper? Come on." 

In some cases, students are reprimanded for using 21st century learning tools. “I got in trouble for looking up a term on my smart phone the other day. A friend of mine had her cell phone taken from her when she asked her Twitter followers a question about the class discussion topic.”

Adolescents across the province are taking up the cause of mocking teachers the moment they pull out archaic technological devices. “Are you serious?” said one student to her teacher. “You’re actually going to write on that overhead thing like it’s 1960, and you’re not ashamed?”

“If I have to waste any more minutes of my life waiting for my teacher to figure out which way to move a transparency on an overhead, I’m going to lose it.”

Some students recognise the irony of using anachronistic information tools in our centres of learning. “This is 2013, the information age.  Yet one of our main learning technologies is a mineral shoved inside wood that’s scraped across paper to make letters. Wood! We are still using wooden tools!”

Students’ concern about their preparation for future career is rising. “For the most part, all of this ‘information age’ digital literacy stuff that is required to be competitive in today’s economy and labour market - students have to learn it on their own time!” posted one student on the ‘Mock a Difference’ Facebook page.

When asked to look something up in a dictionary in class, one student responded, “Why of course! Flipping through a three inch thick book to find one word sounds incredibly efficient. What a great use of my time.”

Some students are dumbfounded at the speed in which information is processed using teaching tools from the past century. “I love it when my teachers say, ‘That’s a good question. I’m not sure. I’ll have to look into that later.’ What?? What century is this? Why would we not whip out a device, Google it, and know the answer in seconds?”

“It’s not really about the tools. It’s about allowing us to get at the information we need and use efficient communication methods that are already common. Free us up to engage our learning in the ways that this generation learns.”

Participants in the movement recognize that some teachers are trying. “To be fair, there are some teachers that embrace 21st century information technology and we like that. It demonstrates to the rest that our schools don’t have to stay in the past.”

“It’s sad that it has come to this. We don’t wish to be mean,” lamented a student passionate about the MaD cause, “but we have to take a stand against the stagnation of our education, one sarcastic comment at a time.”

Friday, June 14, 2013

Local Student Late For School Due to Slow Student Walking Ahead of Him

MOOSONEE: In a startling turn of events last Monday morning, Robert Chakasim arrived six minutes late for school because of the slower pace of the student walking in front of him on the road. Not wishing to endure the embarrassment of appearing more keen on getting to school than the upper level student walking at a snail’s pace in front of him, Chakasim matched his pace at an appropriate distance, causing the ensuing lateness.

“I didn’t know what to do,” said the frustrated grade 10 student. “He was going so slow, but he was a cool kid and I didn’t want to look like a real keener running past him to get to school. He’s a grade 12.”

Using the sidewalk on the other side of the road was not possible due to the absence of sidewalks. Chakasim made the choice to endure the consequences for his self imposed tardiness. Which, as it turned out, is nothing. 

Nevertheless, he wishes to avoid such incidences in the future. “I suppose I could just time it a little bit better so that I’m not behind him, but it doesn't really matter. I’m late all the time as it is. But I usually try to be on time.” 

Chakasim was unwilling to share the identity of the cool grade 12 student in front of him.

Friday, May 31, 2013

High School Class Sees Right Through Teacher’s ‘Work Period’

I'm a freak about posting things on my calendar way ahead of time

MOOSONEE: A grade 12 class at the local Moosonee high school finally figured out what it really meant when their teacher announced a “work period.” 

 “At first I just thought he was being nice and letting us have some extra time to work on our projects,” said grade 12 student Richard Hunter. “It wasn’t until he announced a work period when we didn't even have a project to work on that I got suspicious.” 

 Hunter conferred with his fellow classmates. 

 “Looking back at the calendar we were able to recall the work period days throughout the past semester,” said Troy Gray pointing out circled Mondays on a calendar. “Or, most especially, Tuesdays after long weekends!”

 “It was then that we realized that [the teacher] just didn’t have anything prepared! He had nothin’ to teach!” 

 “Still, it’s fine by us and we’re happy to keep his secret. I know I won’t tell anyone.” 

 Some students pondered whether or not this discovery is connected to ‘play time’ they experienced in their primary grades. 

The grade 12 teacher declined to comment. 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Area Students Unimpressed with Comic Sans Font in Teacher Slideshow


May 10, 2013

MOOSONEE: In a surprising turn of events last Thursday, students at the local high school were not impressed with their English teacher’s use of the iconic font Comic Sans in a PowerPoint presentation. 

Trying to increase her use of modern educational technology in the classroom, Mrs. Tod attempted to be cutting-edge and relevant by setting all the text in her slideshow to Comic Sans.

“When I finally got the projector working with the help of a student, I was really excited to show the students the new font,” said the veteran English teacher. Feeling puzzled by their lack of a reaction, she pointed out the change to her class. “Look, I even used that cool font to make it more fun.” She paused, smiled, blinked a few times, and watched for the students’ reaction.

Rather than the elation that Tod expected, many of the students audibly sighed, rolled their eyes, or smacked their palms against their faces. 

“I don’t understand,” she later said in an exclusive interview with ‘High School Breaking News’. “I thought they would like it so much better than that boring Roman font.” 

“I hate Comic Sans,” asserted one of her students. “It is, without a doubt, the worst font ever made.”

“What is this, grade three? I don’t know if I can take it,” said another. “The Garfield posters were bad enough, now this.” 

Looking up from his laptop and adjusting his glasses, one student said, “this typographical faux-pah is really an affront to high school students everywhere.”

“It’s, like, so ugly,” said another student. 

“I didn’t notice,” said one girl without looking up from her iPhone. “I never look at her Powerpoints anyway.” 

“I think it’s cute!” said Mrs. Tod clicking through the slides she had carefully prepared on the classroom computer. Apparently unaware of the default font setting, she expressed, “it’s a lot of work changing the font on all of those words. Kids these days just don’t appreciate the things we do for them.”

Mrs. Tod plans to continue her use of Comic Sans despite the dissatisfying response from the class. 

“I think next time I’ll spruce it up with some really colourful clipart. They’ll love it then!” 


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Student Keeps Hand Raised for Three Minutes



May 8, 2013

MOOSONEE: Last week in a local civics high school class, Erin Wabano accomplished an astounding feat as she kept her hand raised for the full three minutes of another student’s directionless anecdote about the election system in Canada. 

During a class discussion about voting systems, Wabano wished to express her opinion with a comment she felt was insightful and was eager to share it. Despite furiously waving her arm back and forth to get her teacher’s attention, another student was selected to speak before her. 

“I had a choice to make,” the grade ten student explained, “I could put my hand back down and risk the teacher selecting someone else before me again, or I could just keep it up.” 

Her efforts did not go unnoticed. “I nodded to her to indicate that she could speak next,” reported her teacher, “but she still kept her hand up anyway. She’s just like that. It’s kind of an impressive feat when you think about it. You try holding your hand up that long. It was completely unnecessary, but impressive nonetheless.” 

Wabano, sitting in the front row, did her best not to indicate her impatience with the speaker, but she couldn’t help wiggling the fingers of her raised hand.

“To be honest, I felt like giving up around two and a half minutes,” she admitted. “It started to hurt. But it kept sounding like the talking kid was wrapping things up, so I just couldn’t give up. I had to press on.” 

“It’s so annoying when she does that,” said a fellow student that sits behind Wabano in the civics class. “I’m like, ‘Just relax! Let the other dude say his piece and then you can say yours. Quit waving your arm all up in my face!’” 

“I thought she just had to go to the washroom,” said another student. 

Wabano said she felt “satisfied” when she was finally able to say her comment, but a little disappointed when the teacher responded with a nod and then selected another student to speak. 

Research shows that the average person finds it uncomfortable to hold their hand up for more than 30 seconds. 




Thursday, May 2, 2013

Area High School Student Drops Half of Sandwich


April 4, 2013

MOOSONEE: A corner in a hallway at Northern Lights Secondary School in Moosonee became the scene of a horrific disaster last Thursday afternoon. As Paul Whiskeychan navigated the turn, the top piece of bread from the sandwich he was carrying on a paper plate, fell to the floor making a faint splat noise. 

Stunned, Whiskeychan looked down at the slice of whole-wheat bread laying mayonnaise-side down on the floor with a piece of lettuce protruding out the side. As he examined the site of the accident with disbelief, he held in his left hand the remains of his ham sandwich.

“Oh no,” said the grade 12 student who seemed to be considering his next step. Standing motionless for a moment with a bottle of water in his other hand, he said, “that’s terrible.”

Whiskeychan did his best to put a positive spin on a sad situation. “Oh well, I’ll just fold over the other piece of bread and eat it that way.” 

The otherwise busy hallway was mostly empty at the time of the incident leaving few eyewitnesses. The solitary eyewitness, Mr. Robinson, offered assistance by holding Whiskeychan's water, enabling him to pick up the culinary casualty from the floor. 

“It’s really too bad for him;” said Mr. Robinson, “it looked like a good sandwich. A shame. A real shame.” 

After disposing of the fallen portion of his sandwich, Whiskeychan continued to the gymnasium to watch an intramural sports game and eat his now ‘open-faced’ sandwich. 

This same hallway intersection has been the scene of other accidents in the recent past. Just last week two iPod Touches were dropped in this same location. 




Tie-Dye Lab Coat Fails to Motivate Students



April 10, 2013

MOOSONEE: Students at small high school in Northern Ontario are learning about the latest in science, participating in dynamic, hands-on labs, and are generally enjoying their science class with Mr. Marson. They are not, however, particularly motivated by his rainbow tie-dye coloured labcoat.

“I don’t really get it,” said one student as he gathered up his books from the lab counter at the end of class. “He’s a super-smart teacher, but that lab coat makes him look, kinda, I don’t know, not smart.”

Some have expressed concerns about the possible safety problems. “What if students are doing an experiment which involves open flames on a bunsen burner and then become hypnotized by the swirling rainbow colours of teacher’s lab coat?” asked one teacher who preferred to remain anonymous.

The heavily bearded science teacher explained that the tie dye lab coat was a gift from his science department head. “I think it was expensive, so I sort of feel an obligation to wear it once in awhile.”

When asked whether the techno-coloured lab coat helped keep science fun and motivating, the student responses were fairly muted. “No,” replied one female student with one eye covered by her bangs. “I don’t really care,” said a male student without taking his eyes off his iPod.

“I like Mr. Marson a lot - he’s a great teacher,” said another student smiling, “but I don’t care much for the lab coat.”

“Most of the time it just stays on the back of my chair,” said Mr. Marson scratching his beard. “I’m not really sure what to do with the thing.”

Student Fakes Locker Check



April 13, 2013

MOOSONEE: A local grade nine student accidentally walked past her classroom door last Thursday afternoon and then pretended to look for something in her locker to avoid the embarrassment of turning around on the spot and heading back. 

High School students open and close their lockers countless times throughout the school day, but this student found a more creative use of the iconic storage space - it smoothed over a potentially awkward moment. 

“I don’t normally forget where my classes are,” said the grade nine student who prefers to remain anonymous, “but this time my mind was elsewhere and I completely missed it. I walked straight past it!” 

“There were a bunch of people still in the hall and I didn’t want to look like I forgot or was lost or something.” Looking down at the binder she was holding against her chest she admitted, “I just didn’t want to look dumb to the older kids.”

The false locker-checking consisted of a strong gaze inside the locker, the poking and adjusting of some items, and then the quick closing of the door to create the illusion that she had suddenly found what she was looking for. Satisfied, she then walked straight back to her classroom.

When told about the performance, a grade ten student commented, “Yeah, I had no idea she didn't actually need anything in her locker. I guess I was completely fooled.” “I don’t think anyone would have cared if she turned around on the spot and went back,” said a grade eleven student. 

This embarrassment-avoiding grade nine student is now glad to have the situation behind her and hopes that she’s never put in that situation again. 

“Though, if it does happen again, I’ll be ready.” 

Grade twelve student representatives declined to comment.

Student Solves Rocking Desk Problem with Sheet of Paper


May 2, 2013

MOOSONEE: A grade 10 student at a high school in Moosonee solved the age-old problem of an unbalanced school desk last Wednesday by using only a single sheet of lined paper. 

Feeling irritated by the slight rocking back and forth of the desk he was working on, Andrew Hunter decided to take matters into his own hands and solve this school furniture malfunction once and for all. The root of the irritating problem was that one metal leg of the classic high school desk, with a slightly beige top, was shorter than the other three.

“I have no idea how they get that way,” said Andrew, “but it sure is annoying. Any little movement causes the desk to rock from one side to the other. It makes me want to lose it!” 

He speculated that the problem could be solved by using some form of a wedge to fill in the gap between the floor and the short leg. Unfortunately, no suitable wedges were available to the student while in class. 

The real insight came when Andrew realized that he could fashion an appropriate wedge using a material he had plenty of on hand, lined paper. 

“Yeah, I just kept folding it until it was the right thickness, then I shoved it under there. Worked liked a charm. The desk was instantly solid!” 

When asked how they felt about this remarkable achievement, a fellow student commented, “Are you serious? I do that all the time.” Another student said, “Yeah, great... people have been doing that for, like, ever.” 

The innovative student is relieved to have found a solution and looks forward to writing at his desk without the incessant rocking. He said he recognises that the paper may occasionally pop out, but plans to just push it back under the leg and continue on with his work. 

It is estimated that as high as 38% of the desks in the school may have this malfunction.